Checking in and GAB October 24
The writing life, thwarted plans, and (as always) sharing what is good.
Hello, how are you? Its been a little while since I’ve written here. A very warm welcome to subscribers old and new. I am typing this on my battered, worn out Chromebook, which almost serves as a metaphor for my life in this season. The screen is literally hanging off the keyboard, the wires still connected and clinging on for dear life, propped up on the bed using my daughter’s pink toy storage box. Yet it still works! There is life within it. Is it practical or pleasant to write with?—no. Like my life, I feel like parts of it are hanging off for all to see. I wrestle with discontent but also joy and gratitude at all the ways I am being propped up by our gracious God. I am lovingly held up by local church family and beautiful, prayerful friends.
My motivation to write has been low, but the ideas continue to flow. Instead of fighting or resenting this I have ridden the waves, using the time to think deeply about my writing life. My writing guild membership has been a regular source of encouragement—after all, the writing life is communal as well as individual. Reading, gleaning, and reflecting on the work of others is building me up holistically. I have (and am reading) some wonderful books, so look out for upcoming book reviews.
This season is marked by the frustration of best-laid plans being thwarted at every turn. Plans I assume will be good long term for my family. It is hard to live with so many uncertainties and unknowns (both practically and spiritually). I look around me and it seems like everyone else’s plans progress beautifully. Everyone else appears to have a semblance of control over the major direction their life is going in.
I know this is not the truth. In conversation with a friend I realised that God’s intention behind this may be to keep me on my knees in prayer. If my plans progressed too smoothly, my inclination might be to go astray from trusting God or relying fully on Him, to self sufficiency and asserting control.
So I am pondering God’s specific purpose and direction for my life. Praying hard about how to reconcile the needs of my family and the gifts of grace that God has given me, with the limitations impeding me. I circle back and forth, coming back time and time again to these four words; Will. You . Trust. Me. ?
This is the question God is asking of us all. This is the question we all grapple with in the ebb and flow of life. Psalm 23: 1-3 has comforted me immensely:
‘The Lord is my shepherd;
I have what I need.
He lets me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside quiet waters.
He renews my life;
he leads me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.’
Notice the language here— Shepherd, Lets, Leads, Renews…Leads again.
The first thing I need to realise is God is my Shepherd. Shepherds lead, they guide, they protect. When I trust Him I believe this is true. I actually do have what I need. Right now in this moment, in this bitter/sweet dichotomy. I don’t need to look for an external calling or purpose to drive my life. He is the purpose driving my life. He lets me rest in His promise of provision. He leads me to a gentle and quiet mode of living. Away from the noise of my own pride, self sufficiency and comparison to others. He renews my purpose in every season, leading me to what is right and true. For His name’s sake, not for the sake of my own reputation. What a relief.
Speaking of trust, I am thankful for God’s smiles of encouragement. Both of my children came home on the same day with a headteachers award for ‘putting their faith and trust in Jesus’ !! (they attend a Catholic school). I had no idea such an award existed. They have won awards before for things like helping others etc which is also a joy to see. But an award for putting their faith and trust in Jesus Christ— wow. I mean, how do you measure this? What did the teachers (or the pupils) notice that led to such an award? As children do, they seemed blissfully unaware of the joyous impact this would have on me. When I asked them if they knew why they were given the award they both shrugged and said “ Ummm…I don’t really know!”. I laughed at this, but made it clear to them that this award is one of the best awards they could ever receive in my eyes. Like Mary ( Luke 2:19) , I am treasuring these moments in my heart. Retrieving them when I need encouragement in the daily discipling of my children. I have much to learn from their demonstration of pure and simple trust.
I recently finished a personal study of Thessalonians. It is such a rich treasure of a book, with so much practical guidance. These words in 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 have anchored me when the relentless ‘what should I be doing with my life’ question rears its doubting, discouraging head:
‘Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.’
I’ve been aiming to book-end my days practising thankfulness with my family. Verbally thanking God for waking us up in the morning, for the breath we are breathing, for the breakfast we daily consume. Thanking God in the evening during bed time prayers for the ‘little’ things—cosy snuggles together on the sofa watching a favourite quiz show ( Catchphrase if anyone’s interested), a day noticing the delightful colours of autumn emerging, a tasty dinner. I want my children to see God’s hand and goodness in the minutiae of our lives, not to take for granted the blessing of our (extra) ordinary days.
Now, onto the good stuff. Some of these I came across way back in August, but the quality is timeless so I’m sharing regardless :) Get comfortable if you can, turn the heating up, sip something hot, and let’s dive in…
Videos
On the power of imagination.
Elizabeth Gaskell’s novel Wives and Daughters is on my radar to read next year. If you’re a fan of this book, or just appreciate a stunning piano piece, this is for you! (The piece starts at 4:36 if you want to skip the preamble).
Artist
Makoto Fujimura’s work both in art and writing intrigues and delights me. I am just learning about him and appreciate his thoughts on beauty, art and faith. I admire Fujimura’s bold, counter cultural expression of faith in Christ which shines brightly in the artistic field.
His website states:
‘Makoto Fujimura is a leading contemporary artist whose process driven, refractive “slow art” has been described by David Brooks of New York Times as “a small rebellion against the quickening of time”. In the mid 90’s, artist and critic Robert Kushner wrote about Fujimura’s art in Art in America this way: “The idea of forging a new kind of art, about hope, healing, redemption, refuge, while maintaining visual sophistication and intellectual integrity is a growing movement, one which finds Makoto Fujimura’s work at the vanguard.”
I am looking forward to reading his book on art and faith:
Some of his work…
On making as a spiritual practice with Trinity Forum conversations:
On ‘Slow Art’:
Articles
‘Faithfulness is a little boring, and in a culture that demands everything feel like a dopamine hit, boring is a bit unsettling. It’s ok. Stay close to Him. Keep trusting. This time of spiritual alignment will not be wasted. God is at work, I promise.’
‘Six weeks had passed since someone had held me. I had received countless hugs and many squeezes on the shoulder, which is likely all she intended. My tired, burden-weary body simply fell into her arms, and as she wrapped me in an embrace, I pressed my face into her black hair and wept. For what? I don’t know, but likely everything. I hadn’t cried in so long because of the numbness needed to function.’
‘At the end, though, becoming a better writer is not just another self-improvement project of the sort that our modern therapeutic culture is so quick to glorify. Rather, Le Peau notes, our writing is a task of stewardship, a way for us to glorify God and enjoy Him forever..’
Tim Challies on the dutiful introvert.
‘I decided at that time to commit to being a dutiful introvert. A dutiful introvert is one who acknowledges and accepts what is true about himself but also determines he will never let it interfere with his duty before the Lord. He will not pretend he is an extrovert or stop valuing times of solitude, but he will also not allow his personality to excuse any failure to fulfill the opportunities God presents to him.’
‘Life aches. I don’t know any other way to say it. It doesn’t matter how neat and tidy the lines have fallen around you, how padded your bank account, how magazine-ready your house, how perfectly-posed the family photo on your wall, how certain the probability of your dreams coming true. Things will happen, and likely soon, that will cause you to rethink the value of everything.’
Chris Wadibia on the need to talk about Nigeria’s brutal war.
‘Shockingly, one of the gravest of these challenges has escaped the world's gaze for decades. A brutal war has persisted in Nigeria for over 70 years. It has gained scant attention from leading Western media and has been largely ignored by the Nigerian media. Just one short segment of Palin’s series hints at it – when he interviewed a survivor of a Boko Haram abduction of schoolgirls a decade ago.’
‘We have resources at our fingertips that are beyond the wildest dreams of the early church and church fathers and mothers. Hebrew and Greek lexicons, multiple translations, books upon books about theology and history all give us the opportunity to read, research, and learn in ways that once were only attainable to those attending high level seminaries. What a gift, yet so many are satisfied with platitudes and a few favorite verses mostly taken out of context. Don’t settle for that.’
Podcasts
Sam Allberry and Ray Ortlund discuss the beauty of gospel relationships and navigating our convictions/consciences on You’re Not Crazy.
Sam Allberry (again!) on Union with Christ on the Crossway Podcast.
Sarah Mackenzie on fostering wonder and creativity in our children on the Read Aloud Revival Podcast.
Music
This song by The Porter’s Gate (featuring David Gungor) is not new, but is new to me. A song to help us fix our eyes.
The Last Word
‘Therefore, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your true worship. Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.’ (Romans 12:1-2 CSB)
I appreciate you being here, grace and peace to you and yours.
Ishah Xx
Wow, thank you so much for the mention! Much appreciated.
As always, gratitude for sharing. Look forward to these entries.