50% Mary 50% Martha?

Discipleship and Discernment.

Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash

You may have heard this question posed in a women’s bible study meeting; are you more of a ‘Mary’ or a ‘Martha’?

I suspect many will roll their eyes and sigh at this question. You probably know the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible. You’ve listened to sermons, read countless articles, and participated in discussions on the danger of solely working for God instead of relating to God. You’ve heard warnings about being distracted by the practicalities of ministry to the detriment of real relationship with Jesus.

‘While they were travelling, he entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand.” The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.’ (Luke 10: 38-42 CSB)

It is tempting to reduce the sisters to two opposing sides- one good and one bad. One personality to avoid and one to emulate. But humanity is more complex than that. The Bible is filled with ordinary people encountering God. They are complex human beings with real lives, real relationships and real emotions.

In this account there is much to commend Martha for—she welcomed Jesus into her home. She took responsibility for looking after those in her care. She rose to the occasion and fulfilled her duty. She did what was expected of her.

There is much to commend Mary for—she was willing to set aside pressing duties and demands to sit at the feet of Jesus. She recognised His significance. She listened to Him. She had a heart ready and willing to learn.

So, my response to the question; “are you a Mary or a Martha ?” is— “I am both, I’m striving to be more Mary and less Martha, but both have value.”

I suspect the sisters are not in this story as caricatures of how to be or not to be. They are not just neat fodder for Sunday school lessons or a trite example in a women’s bible study session. Both men and women can glean wisdom from this discipleship moment with the Lord Jesus. We can all recognise these tendencies within ourselves.

‘For whatever was written in the past was written for our instruction, so that we may have hope through endurance and through the encouragement from the Scriptures.’ (Romans 15:4 CSB)

We all get distracted by the practicalities of life. We all deal with levels of stress, anxiety and anger. We sometimes question God in frustration and ask why help is slow to come. We often desire recognition of our efforts to serve others.

But there are times when all we want to do is sit at the feet of Jesus. We eagerly thirst like the Psalmist to meet with the living God. We feel sure that one day in His courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. We realise that in Him we live and move and have our being.

Both of these tendencies lie within us and wrestle for preeminence in our daily lives. Jesus did not tell Martha her efforts were worthless, He did not say her work was wrong. But He did reveal the motivations of her heart, He lovingly identified the fear and worry that distorted her perceptions.

He then called her to discern what was needful in the moment, and to make a wise decision.

‘Teach us to number our days carefully
so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts.’ (Psalm 90:12 CSB)

‘There is an occasion for everything,
and a time for every activity under heaven:…’ (Ecclesiastes 3:1 CSB)

Is the answer 50% Mary and 50% Martha? An endless pursuit of the ubiquitous balanced life which seems to elude us? I wonder whether striving for a perfect balance between these tendencies is a fruitless pursuit.

After all, is God calling us to a perfectly balanced life?

Did Jesus live a perfectly balanced life when zeal for His Father’s house consumed Him? Jesus lived a sinless life, with the balance rightfully tipped in favour of the will of The Father.

We’ll likely need to lift our head above the parapet of the prevailing culture and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. We might have to disappoint the expectations of others for the sake of sitting at the feet of Jesus, learning from Him.

Our Lord Jesus looked at the joy set before Him and endured the cross. He set His eyes on things above, on what is eternal. He came to serve and not be served and yet prioritised prayer and time alone communing with His Father.

30% serving, 70% sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening. Now that sounds like a perfectly balanced life in Christ.